nightshade
“nightshade - flower and poison”
nightshade spent four years playing RuneScape up to 16 hours a day before quitting cold and opening FL Studio in 2020 with zero skills and nothing to lose. The name came from a Percy Jackson character, kept in an old email for eight years, and it stuck because it fit: a flower and a poison, good and bad to the extremes. Now, with a manager, a new album called “gloom,” and a song once called “a bit burger” closing in on a million streams, nightshade talked with us about coping, accountability, and what it really means to figure yourself out.
When and why did you start making music?
i started learning FL in like 2020, it sucked 2 be bad at it but after like a month it started 2 make sense, lots of youtube videos. & at the time i started trying 2 make my own music, i truly just had 0 skills and nothing going for me, i just spent the better half of 4 years playing runescape 10-16 hours a day and finally quit that, decided anything i really commit to right now, ill suck at, so may aswell be something i think would be fun. plus idk music has always been so big for feeling understood and understanding my feelings, being a part of that feeling in others makes me really happy
What’s your earliest memory involving music?
i remember stealing my brothers ipod and taking it 2 school when i was real young, it had an ugly neon orange case but i loved it, being at school and just discovering all the stuff my brother listened 2 felt so magical, at the time i remember it being linkin park & eminem
“i dont write music abt how i think, i write music abt how i feel”
Where does the name “nightshade” come from?
when i was a young i read the percy jackson books alot, and i thought one of the characters zoe nightshade was hella bad so i yoinked her last name for myself online for a while. i used that name in my email for like 8 years before i started making music. when it came around to making an artist name, i jumped between a few things, but caught glimpse of that email i still use and was like, aight nightshade will work. i like the vibes of it being like a flower & poison too idk felt like it suited the life id lived in a way, ups and downs, good and bad to tha extremes.
Your bio says you’re “just tryna figure myself out.” How far along do you feel you are with that?
further than i used 2 be definitely, i got a real fucked up relationship with love and self worth. until i rlly locked in on music i was just jumping from relationship 2 relationship desperately tryna feel valuable to anyone, growin up kinda just made that my life from a young age. but idk after locking in on music and spending more time alone, i can actually not just think clearer, but understand why tf my brain is the way it is, spending alot of time alone learning smth that people tell u will be worthless rlly helps u figure out who tf u are
What’s something about you that fans would be surprised to learn?
i make alot of music abt dr*gs & girls but nowadays my life is pretty far from that. i used 2 be around it alot more, but when it came 2 choosing vices or really trying at this music shit, the answer was obvious. getting this shit started u gotta be obsessed, u gotta live and breathe it cause u love it, and that stuff just doesnt really fit into the picture for me. but to be fair, i lived plenty enough life the couple years before i locked in on music, im sure tha future will be different, but for now, im focusing on what matters.
What’s the story behind “Coffee & Oxys,” and why did it become your name everywhere?
im gonna save this story to share later for the most part, but the general idea is about the ways we cope to live in the worlds we choose. at the stage of my life where that song was founded, my vices werent vices, they felt as necessary as oxygen, because the world i placed myself in i couldnt breath without stimulants to get me up, and depressants to get me down. theres always a price to every bad decision, if the way you're paying isnt obvious, it will be one day, then theres no changing the past
What’s your favourite lyric you’ve written, and what was happening when you wrote it?
the line from the title track on the album gloom that goes "i know my love, i never listen, i know the problem's my addiction, i know the fault is mine, you draw the line, i try but it doesnt work" - definitely means alot to me, everyone will go through shitty relationships in their time, and chances are, someone will do u super dirty and rightfully you'll feel like you should hate them. but i guess this line, was talking about how often people use others shitty actions to justify their equal or less shitty actions. i coulda spent the rest of my life hating everyone who has fucked with me, or i can try have faith that they take their own accountability, and focus on making sure i do. so we can all hurt less people as we figure out whatever the fuck this life will be
Have you ever written a song about someone you knew would hear it?
i have, but nowadays, i hope they dont, i dont write music abt how i think, i write music abt how i feel, if someone was pissed at me for smth i said in a song, fair enough, but i hope they know its not personal, i aint tryna slander anyone, im just expressing myself and making smth for people 2 connect 2 and 2 process my own feelings
Is there a song you almost didn’t release?
my 5th most streamed song die alone was a song i rlly liked but my manager and best friend thought it was a bit burger, i said to him naaa ppl will fw it and its now almost at 1m streams lmao. but na i always appreciate peoples perspective on my demos, music is subjective, all that rlly matters is i fw it.
If your music were a place, what would it look like?
idk probably some old abandoned building with trees growin thru it, thats how i feel anyway. maybe with a bunch of rooms that people have had their own stories in over the years, smth a bit fucked up but in a peaceful way, like life has been lived there
If you performed tomorrow, what song would you open with?
probably gloom i think, makes sense, title track off the most recent album, brings some energy but also a bit melancholic at the end.
What song do you know every word to that would surprise people?
i rlly fw ballads 1 by joji for a long time, that album has been thru many phases of life, so prob most of the stuff on there
How do you handle criticism? And what about praise?
ik my music isnt for everyone, im happy to take criticism, music is so subjective its like well, if ur saying its ass, ur just saying its not what ur used 2 , or what u look for in music. so id say good i think, i never learnt anything music wise from any professionals, so if someone knows more than me or has an opinion, ill take it. but like at the end of the day, the final product will be the thing i like the most, not what someone else likes the most. - and praise is kinda hard to believe i guess, im thankful for everyone who loves my music, but i never really expected it 2 resonate with so many people, but im workin on believing it.
Why should someone who has never heard of you press play on your music today?
i process alot of my life thru my music, im sure theres something on my page that might help u feel a bit less alone with whatever ur goin thru too :) life is hard, shit sucks, helps 2 feel like theres someone else feeling the same shit
// find nightshade
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